6 Ways a Long Distance Relationship Makes You More In Love
Research shows that couples living apart can be more intimate, committed, and connected—proving that absence truly can make the heart grow fonder
The Perks of an LDR
Say the words "long distance relationship" to any duo and thoughts of of time zone troubles and four-hour phone calls send chills down their spines. When you’re in love, it’s hard to imagine not witnessing your sweetie regularly.
But most of us will find ourselves in an LDR at some point. This year, seven million couples in the U.S. reported their relationship as being long distance and seventy five percent of all presently engaged couples said that their relationship had included distance at some point. This isn’t the craziest thing to imagine—between texts, gchat, and Skype, sometimes it feels like we are more in touch with our cross-country BFF than our Sunday brunch pals. A latest investigate from the Pew Research Center reported that almost a quarter of all relationships have an online element that keeps things going. But according to a fresh batch of research, an LDR help your relationship, not hurt them. (For starters: these nine Health Benefits of Love.)
Photo: Corbis Photos
You’re More Intimate
You would think the distance would drive you further apart. Literally. But actually, studies demonstrate that the opposite is true: Couples in long distance relationships actually develop stronger, more intimate bonds than their close duo counterparts. A two thousand thirteen explore from Cornell University found that couples in long distance relationships not only idealized their playmates behavior more, but they also were more vulnerable and disclosed more to their fucking partner.
According to the experts, a lot of this comes from good old fashioned phone calls. "On the phone, people tend to get a little more vulnerable," says Rebecca Hendrix, a couples therapist in Fresh York. "You can get to know somebody a little bit deeper than you can when you’re dating in the same city because if you’re making the time to connect on the phone or Skype, you tend to have longer conversations."
Photo: Corbis Photos
You Become a Master of Communication
That Skype date schedule is so on point, it’s no wonder couples in an LDR are better at communicating than the rest of us. All that intimacy-building phone time is actually making you better at communicating in general. Being apart coerces your communication abilities to be razor sharp—or else you face destruction. (It’s one of the eight Relationship Checks All Couples Should Have for a Healthy Love Life.) The Cornell examine found that long distance playmates go to greater lengths to overcome communication barriers."You’re learning each other’s communication styles and you’re doing it in a way that’s a little more non-threatening," says Hendrix. "Both people need to know what it is that they need to feel connected. And long distance couples make the effort to give that to each other."
Photo: Corbis Photos
You Commit one hundred Percent
If you’re in an LDR, the commitment is pretty clear. You can’t exactly be ambiguous friends with benefits from opposite coasts. Therapists call this intentionality determining versus sliding—your choice to be in the relationship is active, not something you just fall into over time. "More effort has to go into it if both parties have to continually recommit each day," says Hendrix. "This causes people to go slow in a relationship because you literally can’t go too quickly. Sometimes when things go too quick too rapid, things tend to suck up."
Photo: Corbis Pictures
You Have More ‘You’ Time
Spending too much time together can stifle your growth, both as a duo and as individuals—and it’s all too effortless to fall into the rut of eyeing someone who’s just down the street all the time. "I’m a big believer in people in relationships cultivating a life outside of the relationship," says Matt Lundquist, a couples therapist in Manhattan.
For all of the downsides to an LDR (like never having your wise SO by your side for Tuesday night trivia), that’s one major perk: lots of free time to invest in yourself and your own individual development. "Part of your job is to create an individual life where, when you do reconnect with one another, you can bring back the different kinds of stimulation, friendships, and practices that you had separately," says Lundquist.
Photo: Corbis Pics
Your Hookup Life Is Sexier
We like the sounds of this one: According to the experts, distance isn’t all doom and gloom for your love life. Obviously, distance introduces a entire fresh element to the idea of monogamy. "Whether people want to believe it or not, living apart comes with temptation," says Lundquist. So this is a chance to get a little creative. Skype hook-up compels couples to get to know each other sexually in a fresh way, whether the relationship is brand fresh or you’re treating distance years into the commitment. And don’t underestimate the power of onanism. A little self love has all the pelvic floor strengthening benefits of kegel exercises and several studies also showcase that regular orgasms (alone or with a playmate) help reduce the risk of coronary heart disease and type two diabetes. (Maybe bring these five Onanism Tips for a Mind-Blowing Solo Session to your next Skype date.)
Photo: Corbis Photos
You Grow Healthier
Those overly dramatic declarations that our relationship is killing us might actually have some merit. Researchers at the Family Institute at Northwestern University found that married couples who lived in separate homes were less depressed, less anxious, ate healthier, and were more active than cohabitating couples.
These survey findings were supported by a two thousand thirteen examine published in the Journal of Communication, which found that long distance relationships actually include less anxiety (say goodbye to fighting over who left the seat up or getting pissed about someone displaying up twenty minutes late). And the upside of not going out to dinner every other night? You eat smaller portions when you’re not with your man, according to a SafeFood report on portion size. Score one for the LDR (and your waistline). (Learn more about How Your Relationship Is Linked to Your Health.)
6 Ways a Long Distance Relationship Makes You More in Love, Form Magazine
6 Ways a Long Distance Relationship Makes You More In Love
Research shows that couples living apart can be more intimate, committed, and connected—proving that absence indeed can make the heart grow fonder
The Perks of an LDR
Say the words "long distance relationship" to any duo and thoughts of of time zone troubles and four-hour phone calls send chills down their spines. When you’re in love, it’s hard to imagine not eyeing your sweetie regularly.
But most of us will find ourselves in an LDR at some point. This year, seven million couples in the U.S. reported their relationship as being long distance and seventy five percent of all presently engaged couples said that their relationship had included distance at some point. This isn’t the craziest thing to imagine—between texts, gchat, and Skype, sometimes it feels like we are more in touch with our cross-country BFF than our Sunday brunch pals. A latest investigate from the Pew Research Center reported that almost a quarter of all relationships have an online element that keeps things going. But according to a fresh batch of research, an LDR help your relationship, not hurt them. (For starters: these nine Health Benefits of Love.)
Photo: Corbis Pictures
You’re More Intimate
You would think the distance would drive you further apart. Literally. But actually, studies demonstrate that the opposite is true: Couples in long distance relationships actually develop stronger, more intimate bonds than their close duo counterparts. A two thousand thirteen explore from Cornell University found that couples in long distance relationships not only idealized their playmates behavior more, but they also were more vulnerable and disclosed more to their fucking partner.
According to the experts, a lot of this comes from good old fashioned phone calls. "On the phone, people tend to get a little more vulnerable," says Rebecca Hendrix, a couples therapist in Fresh York. "You can get to know somebody a little bit deeper than you can when you’re dating in the same city because if you’re making the time to connect on the phone or Skype, you tend to have longer conversations."
Photo: Corbis Pictures
You Become a Master of Communication
That Skype date schedule is so on point, it’s no wonder couples in an LDR are better at communicating than the rest of us. All that intimacy-building phone time is actually making you better at communicating in general. Being apart compels your communication abilities to be razor sharp—or else you face destruction. (It’s one of the eight Relationship Checks All Couples Should Have for a Healthy Love Life.) The Cornell explore found that long distance fucking partners go to greater lengths to overcome communication barriers."You’re learning each other’s communication styles and you’re doing it in a way that’s a little more non-threatening," says Hendrix. "Both people need to know what it is that they need to feel connected. And long distance couples make the effort to give that to each other."
Photo: Corbis Pics
You Commit one hundred Percent
If you’re in an LDR, the commitment is pretty clear. You can’t exactly be ambiguous friends with benefits from opposite coasts. Therapists call this intentionality determining versus sliding—your choice to be in the relationship is active, not something you just fall into over time. "More effort has to go into it if both parties have to continually recommit each day," says Hendrix. "This causes people to go slow in a relationship because you literally can’t go too quickly. Sometimes when things go too quick too quick, things tend to deep-throat up."
Photo: Corbis Pics
You Have More ‘You’ Time
Spending too much time together can stifle your growth, both as a duo and as individuals—and it’s all too effortless to fall into the rut of witnessing someone who’s just down the street all the time. "I’m a big believer in people in relationships cultivating a life outside of the relationship," says Matt Lundquist, a couples therapist in Manhattan.
For all of the downsides to an LDR (like never having your brainy SO by your side for Tuesday night trivia), that’s one major perk: lots of free time to invest in yourself and your own individual development. "Part of your job is to create an individual life where, when you do reconnect with one another, you can bring back the different kinds of stimulation, friendships, and practices that you had separately," says Lundquist.
Photo: Corbis Pics
Your Hook-up Life Is Sexier
We like the sounds of this one: According to the experts, distance isn’t all doom and gloom for your love life. Obviously, distance introduces a entire fresh element to the idea of monogamy. "Whether people want to believe it or not, living apart comes with temptation," says Lundquist. So this is a chance to get a little creative. Skype lovemaking coerces couples to get to know each other sexually in a fresh way, whether the relationship is brand fresh or you’re treating distance years into the commitment. And don’t underestimate the power of getting off. A little self love has all the pelvic floor strengthening benefits of kegel exercises and several studies also showcase that regular orgasms (alone or with a playmate) help reduce the risk of coronary heart disease and type two diabetes. (Maybe bring these five Getting off Tips for a Mind-Blowing Solo Session to your next Skype date.)
Photo: Corbis Pics
You Grow Healthier
Those overly dramatic declarations that our relationship is killing us might actually have some merit. Researchers at the Family Institute at Northwestern University found that married couples who lived in separate homes were less depressed, less anxious, ate healthier, and were more active than cohabitating couples.
These survey findings were supported by a two thousand thirteen explore published in the Journal of Communication, which found that long distance relationships actually include less anxiety (say goodbye to fighting over who left the seat up or getting pissed about someone displaying up twenty minutes late). And the upside of not going out to dinner every other night? You eat smaller portions when you’re not with your fellow, according to a SafeFood report on portion size. Score one for the LDR (and your waistline). (Learn more about How Your Relationship Is Linked to Your Health.)