Five Conversations You Need to Have Before Hookup
Let’s talk about lovemaking. Not all collegiettes are necessarily doing it, but for those who are, you have to be responsible for your own sexual health.
Not everything about hookup is actually sexy. Some conversations with a fresh fucking partner can be awkward to bring up, but if you’re going to be intimate with someone, you need to be able to talk openly. Before hopping in the sack with your crush, you should discuss these significant topics.
1. Define your expectations
Make sure you and your playmate know what exactly adding lovemaking to the relationship will mean for you and what the expectations you have about it are. Patrick Wanis, a human behavior and relationship accomplished, says that “it’s better to have this conversation before you have hook-up, or one of you may end up emotionally devastated if you thought it was something the other didn’t.”
Don’t rush into anything you aren’t ready for, and know what you want to get out of it. “Both people have to be truly fair and understand that hook-up will switch the relationship,” Wanis says. “You both need to agree on the meaning that you are going to give the sexual relationship.”
If having lovemaking means you’re in love with this person and this is your way of voicing it, make sure your playmate knows that. If it’s just lovemaking and you aren’t looking for a commitment from it, be sure to make that clear. Be open about your expectations and what lovemaking will mean for you in the relationship.
Two. Talk about getting tested
Albeit this isn’t the sexiest conversation, it’s undoubtedly an significant one to have. Ask your fucking partner if he or she has gotten tested in the last six months and if he or she knows of any STD or STIs that they may have.
“It’s always an awkward thing to ask, but I never have hookup with someone unless I know they have been tested and are clean,” says Lucy*, a student at the University of North Georgia. “No dude has ever been weird or offended by it. They know I’m just looking out for my health and they’re usually glad I bring it up so they don’t have to.”
It’s better to be safe than sorry, so don’t be afraid to bring testing up. However, be sure to recall that even if you do have the conversation, there’s always a chance your fucking partner isn’t being truthful or has something without knowing it. Make sure you trust your fucking partner and that you both have been tested recently.
Trio. Talk about contraception
On the same note, unless you’re down to have this guy’s baby or want to risk getting an STD or STI, you need to discuss what form of contraception you will be using. “While it may seem visible, it has to be one of the key topics to discuss,” Wanis says. “Some people like to take a risk or chance and use no protection at all, but it is very significant.”
Let him know if you are on the pill or if there’s another form of birth control that you use. Discuss using condoms and make sure one of you has them.
Four. DTR: Are you special?
College dating can be confusing, and it’s effortless to get caught up in relationships that have no clear definition. Maybe you want to only have lovemaking in a committed relationship, or maybe you don’t want the relationship to be anything serious. Regardless of how you feel, you should make sure you and your fucking partner are on the same page about it.
Wanis notes it’s significant that you specifically discuss what sort of commitment lovemaking will add to a relationship. “It’s significant to be on the same page about your relationship before taking it to the next step,” he says. “Both playmates have to agree on what the sexual relationship is going to be, and each playmate should have an understanding of what the other person wants.”
Make sure you both know if you’re special or not. If you aren’t, define what the relationship is. Are you friends with benefits, or something else? You don’t want to think you’re sensational and then hear around campus that your playmate was with someone else, or vice versa—thinking you’re not sensational when your fucking partner thought otherwise can be messy, too.
Five. Define your boundaries
Some people like chocolate ice fluid and some like vanilla. Your playmate may be into or ready for some things that you aren’t ready for. It’s also common that your definition of lovemaking is different than your partner’s. He or she may think that oral hook-up is no big deal, while you may think differently. Some people only consider penetrative hook-up as hookup, and others consider assfuck and oral as equal to penetrative hook-up. That’s why it’s significant to discuss the things you and your playmate are willing to do so you aren’t taken by surprise by something you may not be comfy with.
“It’s significant that both fucking partners are telling the truth,” Wanis says. “Radical honesty is key.”
Make sure you’re very clear with your boundaries in all aspects. “I’ve always been fully open about it with my fucking partners,” says Emily*, a student at the Community College of Philadelphia. “When I’m ready, I’ll tell them that I’m okay with things going further. That way, it’s crystal clear and there can’t be any confusion.”
If your playmate starts to do or suggests to you something you’re not comfy with, voice your concerns to him or her. Speaking up is the only way your playmate will know what you do and don’t want. Be sure to explain your discomfort about it afterwards so there won’t be any confusion in the future.
Take control of your sexual health and make sure you’re communicating with your playmate. Sometimes we rush into things after a drunken frat party or night out at the bar, but it’s significant to keep yourself safe. Recall to discuss these topics before taking the next step!
Five Conversations You Need to Have Before Hookup, Her Campus
Five Conversations You Need to Have Before Hookup
Let’s talk about hook-up. Not all collegiettes are necessarily doing it, but for those who are, you have to be responsible for your own sexual health.
Not everything about lovemaking is actually sexy. Some conversations with a fresh fucking partner can be awkward to bring up, but if you’re going to be intimate with someone, you need to be able to talk openly. Before hopping in the sack with your crush, you should discuss these significant topics.
1. Define your expectations
Make sure you and your fucking partner know what exactly adding lovemaking to the relationship will mean for you and what the expectations you have about it are. Patrick Wanis, a human behavior and relationship pro, says that “it’s better to have this conversation before you have hook-up, or one of you may end up emotionally devastated if you thought it was something the other didn’t.”
Don’t rush into anything you aren’t ready for, and know what you want to get out of it. “Both people have to be truly fair and understand that lovemaking will switch the relationship,” Wanis says. “You both need to agree on the meaning that you are going to give the sexual relationship.”
If having hookup means you’re in love with this person and this is your way of voicing it, make sure your playmate knows that. If it’s just hook-up and you aren’t looking for a commitment from it, be sure to make that clear. Be open about your expectations and what lovemaking will mean for you in the relationship.
Two. Talk about getting tested
Albeit this isn’t the sexiest conversation, it’s certainly an significant one to have. Ask your playmate if he or she has gotten tested in the last six months and if he or she knows of any STD or STIs that they may have.
“It’s always an awkward thing to ask, but I never have hook-up with someone unless I know they have been tested and are clean,” says Lucy*, a student at the University of North Georgia. “No fellow has ever been weird or offended by it. They know I’m just looking out for my health and they’re usually glad I bring it up so they don’t have to.”
It’s better to be safe than sorry, so don’t be afraid to bring testing up. However, be sure to recall that even if you do have the conversation, there’s always a chance your fucking partner isn’t being truthful or has something without knowing it. Make sure you trust your fucking partner and that you both have been tested recently.
Trio. Talk about contraception
On the same note, unless you’re down to have this guy’s baby or want to risk getting an STD or STI, you need to discuss what form of contraception you will be using. “While it may seem demonstrable, it has to be one of the key topics to discuss,” Wanis says. “Some people like to take a risk or chance and use no protection at all, but it is very significant.”
Let him know if you are on the pill or if there’s another form of birth control that you use. Discuss using condoms and make sure one of you has them.
Four. DTR: Are you sensational?
College dating can be confusing, and it’s effortless to get caught up in relationships that have no clear definition. Maybe you want to only have hook-up in a committed relationship, or maybe you don’t want the relationship to be anything serious. Regardless of how you feel, you should make sure you and your playmate are on the same page about it.
Wanis notes it’s significant that you specifically discuss what sort of commitment lovemaking will add to a relationship. “It’s significant to be on the same page about your relationship before taking it to the next step,” he says. “Both playmates have to agree on what the sexual relationship is going to be, and each fucking partner should have an understanding of what the other person wants.”
Make sure you both know if you’re special or not. If you aren’t, define what the relationship is. Are you friends with benefits, or something else? You don’t want to think you’re off the hook and then hear around campus that your playmate was with someone else, or vice versa—thinking you’re not special when your fucking partner thought otherwise can be messy, too.
Five. Define your boundaries
Some people like chocolate ice juices and some like vanilla. Your fucking partner may be into or ready for some things that you aren’t ready for. It’s also common that your definition of lovemaking is different than your partner’s. He or she may think that oral hookup is no big deal, while you may think differently. Some people only consider penetrative hookup as hookup, and others consider anal invasion and oral as equal to penetrative hook-up. That’s why it’s significant to discuss the things you and your playmate are willing to do so you aren’t taken by surprise by something you may not be convenient with.
“It’s significant that both playmates are telling the truth,” Wanis says. “Radical honesty is key.”
Make sure you’re very clear with your boundaries in all aspects. “I’ve always been entirely open about it with my fucking partners,” says Emily*, a student at the Community College of Philadelphia. “When I’m ready, I’ll tell them that I’m okay with things going further. That way, it’s crystal clear and there can’t be any confusion.”
If your playmate starts to do or suggests to you something you’re not convenient with, voice your concerns to him or her. Speaking up is the only way your fucking partner will know what you do and don’t want. Be sure to explain your discomfort about it afterwards so there won’t be any confusion in the future.
Take control of your sexual health and make sure you’re communicating with your fucking partner. Sometimes we rush into things after a drunken frat party or night out at the bar, but it’s significant to keep yourself safe. Recall to discuss these topics before taking the next step!