How To Talk To Chicks On Tinder
With decent testing and Tinder profile optimization, getting Tinder matches is effortless. However, many studs still fight with how to talk to chicks on Tinder. Via my research building TinderHacks, and subsequent consulting with fellows who fight to find success on Tinder, I’ve noticed a pattern that will significantly increase your success with Tinder messaging.
Building a fine profile is just half the battle, because a match is virtually worthless unless it leads to a conversation. What’s more, a conversation isn’t worth much if you can’t convert the exchange into a phone number, or better yet, a date.
If you’re fighting to get matches, then I suggest you begin with my Top five Tinder Tips article I recently posted. Once you get the matches flowing, and want to step up your messaging game, read on…
Tinder Messaging Basics:
The truth is that by and large, a damsel is not going to message you very first. A few will, but over 80% of them just aren’t going to do it. If you want to talk to her, you’re going to have to make the very first budge on Tinder.
Since women are flooded with messages every single day, you need to send a message that stands out. A message that grabs her attention and piques her curiosity. We will dive into specific examples later in this article, but for now, rest assured that you need to send something more creative than “hey.”
- Send the very first message (attempt one of these Tinder conversation starters)
- Reference details you notice in her bio or pictures
- Compliment her, but on something other than her looks
- Ask genuine questions to get to know her better
- Work on building a rapport
- Then (and only then) budge the conversation off Tinder
- Don’t send a generic very first message like “hi” or “hey”
- Don’t send a string of messages if she doesn’t reply. As a general rule of thumb, only send one message for each message she sends.
- Don’t send messages that are longer than a sentence or two.
- Don’t be angry or bitter if you get no response. And if you do have a temper, certainly don’t air it out in another Tinder message. That’s how guys end up on ByeFelipe.
When It Works:
Let’s look at some real-world examples and break down exactly what went right: In this exchange, Travis (a stud I coach with TinderHacks), says all the right things to get the conversation going. He uses a unique opener, builds rapport by asking questions about his match, and moves the conversation off Tinder in the very first exchange, with a date lined up!
He starts with an opener much different than “hey.” This particular line is fine for piquing curiosity. The chick will be nosey “what keeps happening?” — which we can see she replied right away. He uses emojis indeed well, but doesn’t overdo it — and he lets her use the very first one.
By telling “another xyz,” he taunts his match a little — providing her the chance to prove she is one of a kind. So already, she is attempting to “win him over” in a sense.
He keeps the conversation focused on her, asking genuine questions, which gets her to open up about her dog. Travis has a dog too, so asking if her dog “plays well with other pups” is a ideal setup for a future puppy play date.
He also mentions that he is meeting up with friends later that night. Excellent stir to showcase his social life, and also puts a deadline on the current conversation. Scarcity can be a good thing! It means you’re direct and shows you’re interested.
I honestly think adding the “gym” part was unnecessary, but I am guessing Travis dreamed to emphasize that he works out. He didn’t stay on the point however, which was wise — no need to brag.
Instead of just asking, “What part of town are you in?” Travis takes a much smoother treatment. He very first mentions where he lives, then casually asks if that is close by.
When she says it is close to her, he instantaneously suggests they get together for a drink. The following message reminds her that he’s meeting up with friends later, which is most likely the most critical message of this entire exchange. It re-affirms that he has a social life, and more importantly, it lets her know that the date will not haul on all night.
After working out the timing logistics, the damsel suggests the place. This is fine because it will be somewhere she is comfy. Travis gets the number without ever having to ask, and the pair of them swipe cheerfully ever after.
- Use a unique opening line
- Ask questions to get to know your match and build a rapport
- Be available, but not too available
- Budge the conversation off Tinder
When It Doesn’t Work:
OK, let’s take a look at an example that didn’t go so well: This example is from another TinderHacks student, who we will call Adam (name switched for privacy). Adam plays his cards too rapid, and doesn’t take the decent time to build rapport with his match.
The very first thing I notice is that the woman actually messaged Adam very first. This is utterly infrequent, and it’s unfortunate he did not see the message until the next morning.
Adam sent a string of three messages, which is generally a bad idea. It might come off as desperate, and that drastically reduces your chances to get the date.
He mentions where he lives, then asks where she lives. She responds, but the one-word reaction tells me she’s already a bit disinterested.
Yet again, Adam shoots himself in the foot. He responds, asking if she’d like to get together for a date. This was far too prompt, before any rapport or trust is created. To make matters worse, Adam reminds the match that she lives far from him, and not-so-subtly suggests she should come to where he is, because it’s “joy.”
By this point, Adam has lost her. He would have been much better off asking some basic questions to get to know her, then suggesting they meet up near her part of town.
Instead he sends more messages, asking why she “disappeared.” Guys, never do this. Ever.
She brushed it off with a casual apology, and again Adam comes on too strong, sending his phone number and suggesting (again) that they get together for a drink.
Her response of “I don’t drink” is the last Adam ever hears from her. If he’d taken the time to ask a few basic questions, he might have found out that she doesn’t drink sooner.
Key Takeaways:
- Don’t send a string of numerous messages before a response
- Ask questions to get to know your match before suggesting to meet
- If you live far from your match, don’t suggest they make the trek to your part of town
- Stir conversation off Tinder quickly (but not until after building some rapport)
We’ve all had our fair share of Tinder conversations gone bad. So long as you’re not rude, a Tinder conversation that doesn’t work out is nothing to be ashamed of — and should be viewed as a learning chance.
Read the utter AskMen review of Tinder here.
How To Talk To Chicks On Tinder
How To Talk To Ladies On Tinder
With decent testing and Tinder profile optimization, getting Tinder matches is effortless. However, many fellows still fight with how to talk to chicks on Tinder. Via my research building TinderHacks, and subsequent consulting with fellows who fight to find success on Tinder, I’ve noticed a pattern that will significantly increase your success with Tinder messaging.
Building a excellent profile is just half the battle, because a match is virtually futile unless it leads to a conversation. What’s more, a conversation isn’t worth much if you can’t convert the exchange into a phone number, or better yet, a date.
If you’re fighting to get matches, then I suggest you commence with my Top five Tinder Tips article I recently posted. Once you get the matches flowing, and want to step up your messaging game, read on…
Tinder Messaging Basics:
The truth is that by and large, a damsel is not going to message you very first. A few will, but over 80% of them just aren’t going to do it. If you want to talk to her, you’re going to have to make the very first stir on Tinder.
Since ladies are flooded with messages every single day, you need to send a message that stands out. A message that grabs her attention and piques her curiosity. We will dive into specific examples later in this article, but for now, rest assured that you need to send something more creative than “hey.”
- Send the very first message (attempt one of these Tinder conversation starters)
- Reference details you notice in her bio or pictures
- Compliment her, but on something other than her looks
- Ask genuine questions to get to know her better
- Work on building a rapport
- Then (and only then) budge the conversation off Tinder
- Don’t send a generic very first message like “hi” or “hey”
- Don’t send a string of messages if she doesn’t reply. As a general rule of thumb, only send one message for each message she sends.
- Don’t send messages that are longer than a sentence or two.
- Don’t be angry or bitter if you get no response. And if you do have a temper, undoubtedly don’t air it out in another Tinder message. That’s how guys end up on ByeFelipe.
When It Works:
Let’s look at some real-world examples and break down exactly what went right: In this exchange, Travis (a man I coach with TinderHacks), says all the right things to get the conversation going. He uses a unique opener, builds rapport by asking questions about his match, and moves the conversation off Tinder in the very first exchange, with a date lined up!
He starts with an opener much different than “hey.” This particular line is fine for piquing curiosity. The chick will be nosey “what keeps happening?” — which we can see she replied right away. He uses emojis truly well, but doesn’t overdo it — and he lets her use the very first one.
By telling “another xyz,” he taunts his match a little — providing her the chance to prove she is one of a kind. So already, she is attempting to “win him over” in a sense.
He keeps the conversation focused on her, asking genuine questions, which gets her to open up about her dog. Travis has a dog too, so asking if her dog “plays well with other pups” is a ideal setup for a future puppy play date.
He also mentions that he is meeting up with friends later that night. Good stir to showcase his social life, and also puts a deadline on the current conversation. Scarcity can be a good thing! It means you’re direct and shows you’re interested.
I honestly think adding the “gym” part was unnecessary, but I am guessing Travis desired to emphasize that he works out. He didn’t remain on the point however, which was brainy — no need to brag.
Instead of just asking, “What part of town are you in?” Travis takes a much smoother treatment. He very first mentions where he lives, then casually asks if that is close by.
When she says it is close to her, he instantly suggests they get together for a drink. The following message reminds her that he’s meeting up with friends later, which is very likely the most critical message of this entire exchange. It re-affirms that he has a social life, and more importantly, it lets her know that the date will not haul on all night.
After working out the timing logistics, the damsel suggests the place. This is excellent because it will be somewhere she is comfy. Travis gets the number without ever having to ask, and the pair of them swipe gladfully ever after.
- Use a unique opening line
- Ask questions to get to know your match and build a rapport
- Be available, but not too available
- Stir the conversation off Tinder
When It Doesn’t Work:
OK, let’s take a look at an example that didn’t go so well: This example is from another TinderHacks student, who we will call Adam (name switched for privacy). Adam plays his cards too quick, and doesn’t take the decent time to build rapport with his match.
The very first thing I notice is that the female actually messaged Adam very first. This is enormously uncommon, and it’s unfortunate he did not see the message until the next morning.
Adam sent a string of three messages, which is generally a bad idea. It might come off as desperate, and that drastically reduces your chances to get the date.
He mentions where he lives, then asks where she lives. She responds, but the one-word response tells me she’s already a bit disinterested.
Yet again, Adam shoots himself in the foot. He responds, asking if she’d like to get together for a date. This was far too prompt, before any rapport or trust is created. To make matters worse, Adam reminds the match that she lives far from him, and not-so-subtly suggests she should come to where he is, because it’s “joy.”
By this point, Adam has lost her. He would have been much better off asking some basic questions to get to know her, then suggesting they meet up near her part of town.
Instead he sends more messages, asking why she “disappeared.” Guys, never do this. Ever.
She brushed it off with a casual apology, and again Adam comes on too strong, sending his phone number and suggesting (again) that they get together for a drink.
Her response of “I don’t drink” is the last Adam ever hears from her. If he’d taken the time to ask a few basic questions, he might have found out that she doesn’t drink sooner.
Key Takeaways:
- Don’t send a string of numerous messages before a response
- Ask questions to get to know your match before suggesting to meet
- If you live far from your match, don’t suggest they make the trek to your part of town
- Stir conversation off Tinder quickly (but not until after building some rapport)
We’ve all had our fair share of Tinder conversations gone bad. So long as you’re not rude, a Tinder conversation that doesn’t work out is nothing to be ashamed of — and should be viewed as a learning chance.
Read the utter AskMen review of Tinder here.