Spouse's Friendship With Women
Krista J.’s spouse is stringing up out with another woman. Is that wrong? "He told me they are just friends, but he has been leaving me to go drape out with her," she frets.
As readers suggest Krista advice, another question emerges: can married studs have female friends? Ideally, they say, the members of a duo should be able to maintain individual friendships with the opposite hookup, but in reality, a friendship like the one Krista’s spouse is developing is often a slimy slope.
Friendship can lead to flirtation, and what once seemed harmless can grow and grow. So how do you prevent this? Here, readers share some ground rules for a spouse’s opposite-sex friendships.
1. Make sure there’s no dual standard.
"If he can, I can," is the guideline many members live by. But when Carol M. proposes this treatment to her hubby, his response was the very definition of the dual standard and one that many members feel spells trouble: that while it’s OK for a spouse to talk to women, it’s taboo for a woman to have friendships with boys. "No stud is just a friend," he insists.
In contrast, Jill says that, in her marriage, both she and her hubby have friends of the opposite lovemaking. "The rule in our marriage is what is good enough for you is good enough for me," she says. "If he wants to talk to ladies. Fine. I get to talk to guys. It works both ways."
Two. Agree on suitable boundaries.
Makena D. feels that "interaction inbetween people of different sexes even after marriage is part of life," and that because masculine/female friendships outside of marriage are unavoidable, a wifey should not only "limit the kind of talk [she has] with other boys," but let her hubby know that "he needs to do the same."
Explaining further, she shares that "your playmate comes very first."
Trio. Give (and expect) the benefit of the doubt.
Many readers feel comfy with their husbands’ female friendships because they trust each other downright. "There is no way I would tell my spouse who he can and can’t talk to and vice versa," says Michelle W. "I’ve even met up with an old school friend (masculine) for coffee. My spouse trusts me fully, and I trust him."
Megan R. agrees, sharing that she has no problem with her hubby’s female friend. "One of my spouse’s closest friends is a woman," she says. "I also have some dude friends, and my hubby knows about them. I trust my spouse enough to know he won’t cheat on me."
Four. Include one another in the friendship.
Many readers believe that if your spouse wants to cultivate a friendship with a woman, whether a colleague or someone from his past, he should invite you and the woman’s spouse (if she has one) to dinner or into the circle of friendship, too. This kind of transparency makes everyone more convenient.
When It’s More Than "Just Friends"
All of this said, some members simply won’t abide a spouse’s opposite hookup friendships, no matter what. Tabitha R. points out that it’s very difficult to observe your spouse have female friendships if he has a history of cheating: "I honestly think once someone has cheated that we lose respect for that person, and it makes us think that every woman they are talking to they are sleeping with."
Lisa P. agrees, but for different reasons: "I don’t think a married man should be stringing up out with another lady or woman even if they are supposedly ‘just friends.’ He should be home with his family. If his priorities are elsewhere and not with you and your family, then you should be questioning the marriage."
Where do you draw the line on your hubby’s female friendships?
Hubby – s Friendship With Women, POPSUGAR Moms
Hubby's Friendship With Women
Krista J.’s spouse is dangling out with another woman. Is that wrong? "He told me they are just friends, but he has been leaving me to go suspend out with her," she frets.
As readers suggest Krista advice, another question emerges: can married boys have female friends? Ideally, they say, the members of a duo should be able to maintain individual friendships with the opposite lovemaking, but in reality, a friendship like the one Krista’s spouse is developing is often a lubricious slope.
Friendship can lead to flirtation, and what once seemed harmless can grow and grow. So how do you prevent this? Here, readers share some ground rules for a spouse’s opposite-sex friendships.
1. Make sure there’s no dual standard.
"If he can, I can," is the guideline many members live by. But when Carol M. proposes this treatment to her hubby, his response was the very definition of the dual standard and one that many members feel spells trouble: that while it’s OK for a hubby to talk to women, it’s taboo for a woman to have friendships with studs. "No boy is just a friend," he insists.
In contrast, Jill says that, in her marriage, both she and her spouse have friends of the opposite hookup. "The rule in our marriage is what is good enough for you is good enough for me," she says. "If he wants to talk to women. Fine. I get to talk to guys. It works both ways."
Two. Agree on suitable boundaries.
Makena D. feels that "interaction inbetween people of different sexes even after marriage is part of life," and that because masculine/female friendships outside of marriage are unpreventable, a wifey should not only "limit the kind of talk [she has] with other studs," but let her spouse know that "he needs to do the same."
Explaining further, she shares that "your fucking partner comes very first."
Trio. Give (and expect) the benefit of the doubt.
Many readers feel convenient with their husbands’ female friendships because they trust each other downright. "There is no way I would tell my spouse who he can and can’t talk to and vice versa," says Michelle W. "I’ve even met up with an old school friend (masculine) for coffee. My spouse trusts me totally, and I trust him."
Megan R. agrees, sharing that she has no problem with her hubby’s female friend. "One of my hubby’s closest friends is a woman," she says. "I also have some fellow friends, and my hubby knows about them. I trust my hubby enough to know he won’t cheat on me."
Four. Include one another in the friendship.
Many readers believe that if your spouse wants to cultivate a friendship with a woman, whether a colleague or someone from his past, he should invite you and the woman’s spouse (if she has one) to dinner or into the circle of friendship, too. This kind of transparency makes everyone more comfy.
When It’s More Than "Just Friends"
All of this said, some members simply won’t abide a spouse’s opposite hook-up friendships, no matter what. Tabitha R. points out that it’s very difficult to witness your spouse have female friendships if he has a history of cheating: "I honestly think once someone has cheated that we lose respect for that person, and it makes us think that every woman they are talking to they are sleeping with."
Lisa P. agrees, but for different reasons: "I don’t think a married man should be suspending out with another damsel or woman even if they are supposedly ‘just friends.’ He should be home with his family. If his priorities are elsewhere and not with you and your family, then you should be questioning the marriage."
Where do you draw the line on your hubby’s female friendships?